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But you might want to consider the fact that Reed isn’t Cobb Cutler.

  Becky Flowers

  17:28 PM

  I have considered that.

  Leeanne Matsumori

  17:29 PM

  Ha! I knew it! So you ARE thinking about taking him up on his offer for a drink!

  Becky Flowers

  17:29 PM

  No. Like I said, that would be a conflict of interest.

  But I’m not ready for kids yet, either, and Graham seems to have them on the brain.

  Leeanne Matsumori

  17:29 PM

  Who needs babies when you’re a beautiful and confident business owner?

  Becky Flowers

  17:29 PM

  Who also happens to have cellulite. I’m never going to be mistaken for a model, that’s for sure.

  Leeanne Matsumori

  17:29 PM

  See, this is why I’m coming. Guarding your heart is one thing.

  But it’s like you think your heart is one of your client’s vases, or something. You’ve put so much bubble wrap around it that you can’t even enjoy it anymore.

  Becky Flowers

  17:30 PM

  Well, I don’t want to risk giving my heart to someone who’s going to abuse it. Again.

  Leeanne Matsumori

  17:30 PM

  I know. I get it. But sometimes people learn from their mistakes. And by people I mean men. And by men I mean Reed. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that of all the senior move managers in this state, he hired you. I think he did it on purpose because he wants you back.

  Becky Flowers

  17:30 PM

  Leeanne, I’m the only senior move manager in the tri-county area.

  Leeanne Matsumori

  17:30 PM

  Oh. Well, what does your sister say to do?

  Becky Flowers

  17:30 PM

  If I showed that letter to Nicole, she’d grab Henry’s taser and go shoot Reed with it.

  Leeanne Matsumori

  17:30 PM

  Oh. OK, so maybe don’t show it to Nicole.

  Becky Flowers

  17:30 PM

  Look, thanks for the chat. I know what I need to do.

  Leeanne Matsumori

  17:30 PM

  You do? What? Tell me!

  Becky Flowers

  17:31 PM

  What any sensible Austen heroine would do.

  Leeanne Matsumori

  17:31 PM

  Go to the milliner’s for a new hat?

  Becky Flowers

  17:31 PM

  I’ll talk to you later, Lee. Have a safe flight.

  From: [email protected]

  Date: March 15 6:12:10 PM EST

  To: Reed [email protected]

  Subject: You

  Dear Reed,

  Thank you so much for your note and the signed contract. I’m so glad your family has agreed to hire Moving Up! Senior Move Management Consultants. We’ll certainly do our best to make your parents’ transition as stress free as possible.

  Like you, I’m glad we can finally move forward as two adults who’ve learned to put our past mistakes behind us. I’m sorry it has to be under these circumstances, since your parents really do seem to have fallen into difficult times—through no fault of their own, or the rest of your family’s.

  I’ve actually seen this happen before. I can assure you it’s more common than you think, especially someone like your father, who has such a strong personality and is too prideful to accept outside help.

  I would be very happy to sit down with you or any other of your family members any time you’d like to go over my strategy for dealing with your parents’ situation in more detail.

  But as I’ve now received a signed contract from you employing Moving Up! as your parents’ senior moving consultants, you are technically a client, and I make it a policy never to interact socially with clients. So I’m afraid having coffee or a drink as friends won’t be possible.

  I do hope you understand. It simply wouldn’t be appropriate, and might make it difficult for me to supply the best care I can for your parents.

  Tomorrow some of my employees and I will be delivering several Dumpsters and portable on demand storage units to your parents’ home. I think it would probably be best if you were not there, as I think feelings might be running high, and your presence could exacerbate the situation. (With your parents, of course. Not with me.)

  When your parents are more used to the idea of downsizing, I’m sure your company will be more welcome! I hope you understand.

  Fondly,

  Becky Flowers, CSMM

  Moving Up! Consulting LLC, President

  P.S. I don’t know if you got my texts, letters, and messages from ten years ago, but I want to take this opportunity to thank you, once again, for what you did in taking the blame for your father’s golf cart ending up in the pool. I know it caused a great rift between you and the Judge, and I’ve always been so, so sorry about that.

  I do hope you know how grateful I am for what you did.

  Becky

  Reed Stewart

  10:01 PM EST

  Alvarez, I need your help, bud. I need it more than I’ve ever needed it before in my life.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:05 PM EST

  What is it now? I already spent three hours today looking at condos for you. If I have to hear about “space for entertaining” one more time, I’m going to kill myself.

  Reed Stewart

  10:05 PM EST

  I saw her today.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:05 PM EST

  Who? Valerie? She stalked you to your hometown? Man, I told you that one was trouble. But do you ever listen to me? No. Like at the 16th hole at Augusta.

  Reed Stewart

  10:05 PM EST

  Not Valery. My ex. She was at my parents’ house. My sister-in-law hired her to help my parents’ move. She owns a moving company.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:05 PM EST

  Your ex owns a moving company? Now that is a good business to invest in.

  Because everyone has to move at least a few times in their life, and you can’t always count on friends to help you. So hiring a moving company always makes it a lot easier, if you can find one to do it at a fair price. How are her prices?

  Reed Stewart

  10:06 PM EST

  As usual, Alvarez, YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT.

  It is HER. It is BECKY.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:06 PM EST

  Oh, BECKY. I didn’t know Becky is the one with the moving company. Wait, that is who your sister-in-law hired to move your parents to this condo I’m picking out for you in Orlando?

  HA! Boudro! You are screwed.

  Reed Stewart

  10:07 PM EST

  Thank you, Alvarez. Thank you so much. I realized that when I asked her out and she shot me down because I’m now technically a client, and she makes it a policy never to interact socially with clients.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:07 PM EST

  HA HA HA! I wish I had been there to see that.

  Reed Stewart

  10:07 PM EST

  Thank you for the sympathy. So what do I do about it? You’re always telling me which club I should use. You must know something about relationships.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:07 PM EST

  Well, I know you always screw up yours. Almost as much as you’ve screwed up your swing lately.

  Reed Stewart

  10:08 PM EST

  I am aware of that. That’s why I’m asking for your advice. How should I proceed? Because I already screwed up this relationship once, and this time—if she’ll give me a second chance—I’d like not to.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:08 PM EST

  She already told you “no,” man. What part of “no” do you not understand?

  Reed Stewart

  10:08 PM ES
T

  I get that. But surely there must be some way around the client thing.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:08 PM EST

  First I’m your caddy, then I’m your realtor, now I’m supposed to give you love advice?

  I’m the one who said “Call her” when you first told me about her five years ago. You didn’t listen to me then, just like you didn’t listen at Doral when I told you to go for the wedge on the 17th hole.

  Why is this woman so important to you, anyway? There are plenty of other ladies you could have who aren’t working for you.

  Reed Stewart

  10:08 PM EST

  Maybe because I’ve seen things today—horrible, horrible things—that have helped me realize what’s truly important in life, Alvarez.

  I don’t want to die surrounded by THINGS and not people who love me. Least of all the woman I’ve always loved.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:09 PM EST

  Boudro, that is profound, man! What happened? Did you finally watch the tape of Augusta, like I asked you?

  Reed Stewart

  10:09 PM EST

  No. I went to my parents’ house.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:09 PM EST

  Oh. Well, then, the only advice I have for you when it comes to this young lady is: Big Bertha.

  Reed Stewart

  10:10 PM EST

  I don’t even know what that means.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:10 PM EST

  Of course you know what that means. Don’t embarrass me, man.

  Reed Stewart

  10:10 PM EST

  I understand Big Bertha is the heaviest club in the bag, Alvarez, and it’s the one you wanted me to use at Augusta and I didn’t, and you think that’s why I lost.

  I don’t understand what it means in the context of my ex.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:11 PM EST

  Did you know they named that club after the German Big Bertha howitzer? That’s an artillery cannon they used in World War I to smash down forts.

  Reed Stewart

  10:12 PM EST

  Becky isn’t a fort, Alvarez. She’s a woman.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:12 PM EST

  She’s got her walls up against you, doesn’t she?

  Reed Stewart

  10:12 PM EST

  Still, I’m not going to hit her with a stainless steel driver.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:12 PM EST

  It’s a metaphor, you idiot.

  When you’ve got a big problem, you have to hit it with the biggest weapon in your arsenal.

  You wouldn’t know this, of course, because you’ve never had to try very hard before, either on the course or with women.

  But now, with age, you might actually have to take out the heavy artillery, which on the greens are the big sticks, and with women is your charm—if you have any, which I’m starting to doubt.

  Reed Stewart

  10:13 PM EST

  Thanks, boudro. You always know the right thing to say.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:13 PM EST

  Yes, because I’m a caddy. Now Cutler’s caddy and I are off to Epcot Brazil to enjoy dinner on both of your expense accounts.

  Check out the photos I emailed, there’s a place on there I think will work for your parents. It’s near the Golden Palm golf resort, in case you ever decide to come back to work.

  Reed Stewart

  10:14 PM EST

  Funny. No, really, very amusing.

  But thanks for the advice.

  Enrique Alvarez

  10:14 PM EST

  I hope it works, for both our sakes. I could use the extra cash if you start winning again.

  Today I feel blessed because:

  I do not feel blessed!!!

  Oh, God, I don’t know what’s happening to me. What am I even doing with my life?

  Why did I send him that email? Why didn’t I tell him the truth? That I’d love, love, LOVE to meet him for coffee, drinks, ANYTHING?

  But I can’t. What would be the point? He’s right, I have built a successful life and business here. I can’t allow a boy—well, a man, now—from my past to blow back into it and destroy everything I’ve worked so hard for. Especially my peace of mind. I’m happy. I’m finally happy now. I’m not going to let him ruin that.

  But oh! He looked so good. Especially in that tie, with that dark hair of his, and those eyes, those eyes! How could I have forgotten how bright and shiny and blue they are? Well, I guess because on television, he’s usually wearing sunglasses out on the course.

  And what if Leeanne is right? What if I am overprotecting myself, keeping my heart in too much bubble wrap?

  But why shouldn’t I? I didn’t before, and got hurt.

  Things are different now. I’m a confident business owner. With a kind, handsome boyfriend (who’s left four texts I haven’t answered. I really need to get back to Graham soon, or he’s going to start suspecting something is up).

  Okay, breathe. I have everything under control. I’m going to ACE this Stewart job (I’ve already shoved the Blumenthals off on Nicole, so that’s taken care of).

  All I need to do is get a good night’s sleep, go to the Stewarts’ bright and early tomorrow morning, and get them to start sorting. Everything is going to be fine. As long as I can keep Reed away, it should run smooth as silk. Smooth as a St. Andre French triple cream.

  God! I have to stop thinking about cheese.

  And men.

  Especially one man. And I will!

  I truly am blessed. It’s all going to go great.

  I just need to bring enough packing materials.

  Especially bubble wrap.

  Not-So-Crazy Cat Lady

  Reviewer ranking: #2,350

  93% helpful

  votes received on reviews

  Reviewed

  Welcome Cat Figurine

  $39.00 + Shipping

  As pictured

  March 15

  This funny little critter is simply impossible to resist.

  So how could I not snap up this tiny treasure, especially after the hard day I had dealing with my own little kiddies (pun intended).

  Of course, they don’t seem to be so pleased with me and their father anymore—so much so that they’re making us feel a bit unwelcome—in our own home, no less!

  Not that I blame them. I know we’ve embarrassed them very much over the years.

  But I didn’t know that we’d displeased them so much that they’d listed our home for sale and hired a stranger (well, a relative stranger) to force us to pack up our belongings and move away from the town we’ve known and loved for so many years.

  But I suppose this happens to all of us—we outgrow our usefulness, or do one silly thing—and it’s “Bye-bye. You aren’t welcome anymore.”

  Oh, of course my daughter-in-law has said things over the past few months about our house getting to be “too big” and the way we spend our money being “not right.”

  But don’t we have the right to live in whatever size house we choose to, and spend our money how we see fit?

  For instance, I prefer to spend my money on adorable kitties like this, instead of on something boring, like the water bill. Water should be free! It comes from the sky, doesn’t it?

  Oh, well, here I am going on about my problems when really I meant to tell you about this cute figurine. It is lovely, so exquisitely crafted and perfect. You couldn’t add a finer one to your collection.

  So do so at once, before someone comes along and tries to take all your beloved things away!

  10 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

  BLOOMVILLE RESTAURANT FACES BOYCOTT

  BY CHRISTINA MARTINEZ Herald Staff

  Bloomville, Ind.—A restaurant in Bloomville’s Old Towne Mall is facing a massive backlash following reports that a retired judge and his wife were arrested there after an alleged misunderstan
ding concerning a postage stamp.

  Resident Beverly Flowers, 64, called for a boycott of the casual family eatery Shenanigans for prosecuting locally beloved Judge Richard Stewart and his wife, Constance, for attempting to pay for a $59 meal with an antique postage stamp worth only $4.

  What began as a suggestion in a letter to the editor in yesterday’s edition of the Herald soon spread like wildfire across social media as others joined Flowers’s campaign.

  A small handful of protesters outside the restaurant had grown to as many as two dozen by press time yesterday. Although the protesters were peaceful, two Bloomville police officers were dispatched to the area in order to assure the smooth flow of traffic along Old Towne Mall Road.

  When contacted for comment, Flowers said she was not surprised that so many people felt the same way she did.

  “I’m doing this because what they did to Judge Stewart isn’t right,” said Mrs. Flowers, the office manager of Moving Up! Senior Move Management Consultants, who spent several hours outside of Shenanigans Neighborhood Bar and Grill yesterday persuading would-be customers to dine elsewhere.