Notebooks of a Middle-School Princess Bridesmaid-in-Training Page 8

  And OK, maybe that’s a little bit of an exaggeration – nobody has bitten any poisoned apples and died or anything.

  But I don’t feel as if my plan of helping Mia with her problems as a wedding gift is really working out, in part due to my cousin Luisa, who has problems of her own.

  Instead I’m only creating more problems . . . especially since this afternoon when I got home from school, the majordomo told me that Snowball had stolen two sausages and wheel of Brie from the kitchen today!

  A group of tourists found part of the Brie later in the Hall of Portraits. It was behind the bust of my great-great-grandfather. The tourists took photos of it and now ‘Dog Cheese’ is one of the top trending topics online.

  I wish I could just live here in the stables with Chrissy and Snowball. Everything is so calm and nice and smells like hay.

  Which is quite a good smell, when you get used to it.

  But as I explained to Rocky when he wanted to fly to the moon, you can’t run away from your problems . . . You have to face them, or they’ll never get solved.

  So I have to go back to school tomorrow and face everyone – including Luisa.

  And Prince Gunther.

  Oh, there’s Grandmère out there with the electricians, telling them where to string the party lights for the reception. I guess I should go and help.

  Wednesday 17 June 7.35 p.m.

  Royal Genovian Bedroom

  !!!!!

  WOW.

  ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

  OK, maybe things are looking up. Just a little.

  I was outside helping the electricians swap out the white party globes for purple ones (which has to be done in secret. Grandmère says it will be a great surprise for Mia to see everyone and everything bathed in soft purple light) when I was the one who got a surprise.

  Prince Khalil showed up in the Royal Genovian Gardens!

  ‘What are you doing here?’ I asked from on top of my ladder.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ he asked from below it.

  ‘I live here,’ I said.

  ‘Right,’ he said with a laugh. ‘Sorry, I knew that. What I meant was . . . what are you doing way up there?’

  ‘Oh,’ I said. ‘Helping to hang party lights for my sister’s wedding reception. It’s in two days and basically nothing is ready, so I’m pitching in to help.’

  I could have given him a longer explanation – like how earlier Grandmère had told me another rule for royals: ‘Better to do it yourself than trust other people to do it, so you know it’s done right’ – but I suddenly remembered that I was wearing my uniform shorts, and I wasn’t sure whether or not he could see up them, so I started climbing down.

  I was surprised when he reached over to hold the bottom rungs of the ladder to steady it, but I shouldn’t have been. This kind of courteousness is why Luisa has such a crush on him.

  ‘Thanks,’ I said as I jumped the last few feet to the garden path. My pink high-tops made a satisfying crunching sound on the gravel.

  ‘No problem,’ he said. ‘Hey, I’m glad we ran into each other. About what happened in school today—’

  Oh, no! This was the last thing I wanted to talk about! Especially with him.

  ‘Uh-oh,’ I said. ‘Did you hear that? I think my grandmother is calling me. It’s probably time for high tea. Sorry, I have to go.’

  ‘Wait.’ Prince Khalil reached out to grab my arm. ‘I just wanted to say that I think it was cool how you said you drew that picture so that Prince Gunther wouldn’t get kicked out of school.’

  I froze. ‘You did? I mean, you do?’

  ‘Yeah.’ He let go of my arm. ‘Not many girls would have done that.’

  I was shocked, and not only because Prince Khalil had just grabbed my arm and said I was cool, but because he’d ACTUALLY NOTICED SOMETHING I’D DONE.

  Not that I cared.

  ‘Uh,’ I said. Suddenly it seemed like all the birds in the garden were tweeting more loudly than usual, and the sun was shining a little more brightly, which makes no sense because I do not even like Prince Khalil. ‘Well, Prince Gunther didn’t draw that picture. So I was only doing the right thing.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Prince Khalil said. ‘But you didn’t draw it.’

  This conversation was making me very uncomfortable, because the last thing I wanted to be discussing with Prince Khalil was who really drew the picture, which of course was Luisa Ferrari, who secretly wanted to be his girlfriend.

  ‘Well,’ I said. ‘Maybe not. But it still wouldn’t have been fair if Prince Gunther got kicked out of school for something he didn’t do.’

  ‘No,’ Prince Khalil said. ‘But if he didn’t draw it, and you didn’t draw it, who did?’

  ‘Uh.’ I thought it better to distract him. ‘What’s that?’ I pointed at the wire cage Prince Khalil had put down while holding the ladder for me, then lifted again.

  ‘Oh, this?’ It worked! My trick worked! He held up the cage so I could take a better look at it. ‘It’s a live trap. I’m a volunteer with the Genovian Herpetology Rescue Society. We’re here today to trap and relocate your iguanas.’

  It was a good thing I’d climbed down from the ladder, or I would have fallen off it. ‘You are?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Khalil said, his dark eyes lighting up the way they had in the school dining room. ‘I told my friends at the society what you said about all the problems you were having here at the palace with iguana overcrowding, and they got in touch with the gardening and security staff, and they said we could come in and set up these traps. We’re going to relocate as many of your iguanas as we can to the Genovian golf course. They’ll be much happier there and won’t bother anyone.’

  ‘Wow,’ I said. ‘That’s, uh, really nice of you.’

  ‘Oh, it’s nothing.’ He shrugged modestly. ‘The society is happy to help. Conserving reptiles and amphibians and educating the public about how critical they are to the environment is what we do. Did you know that without many species of reptiles, some plants wouldn’t get pollinated, and certain pests would overrun the ecosystem?’

  ‘Uh,’ I said. ‘No, I didn’t.’

  ‘Well, it’s true. Where can I put this?’ He held out the wire cage.

  ‘Over here,’ I said, and led him to the orange tree beneath my bedroom window. I couldn’t see Carlos anywhere, but I knew he was around. Sometimes he hides. ‘You’re going to need a lot of those, though.’

  ‘I know,’ he said. ‘That’s why we came today. We’ll set as many traps as we can now, and then keep coming back. By the wedding we should have got most of them.’

  The birds in the trees seemed to tweet even more loudly. ‘This is going to be the best wedding present for my sister,’ I said. ‘I’ve been wondering what I was going to get her, since I don’t have any money.’

  He smiled. ‘I never heard of anyone giving someone iguana removal for their wedding before, but I guess it would make a pretty good gift, and not just because it’s free. I’d love to be an iguana removal specialist when I grow up, because it makes people so happy, and it’s great for the iguanas.’ Then the grin turned into a frown. ‘Only I can’t, of course.’

  I felt a pang for him, since he looked so sad. ‘Why not? Don’t they have iguanas in your native land?’

  He looked at me like I was crazy. ‘No, because I have to be a prince.’

  ‘Oh, right,’ I said, embarrassed. ‘Of course! I can’t believe I forgot.’ I’d also forgotten that his native land was in the middle of a war, and this was why he was a boarding student at the RGA and his parents lived in France. Probably it had been insensitive of me to have brought it up. I decided to change the subject. ‘You know, I want to be a wildlife illustrator. I think it’s possible to be both . . . royal and something else. Most people do more than one thing.’

  ‘You know what,’ he said, after crawling from the live trap, which he’d finished setting up. ‘I never thought about it before, but you’re right. Like Prince Gunther. He�
��s royal, but he’s also a swimmer.’

  I didn’t like how our conversations always seemed to go back to Prince Gunther, especially since I don’t even like Prince Gunther . . . at least, not the way Prince Gunther likes me.

  But since making a big deal about it would only make it seem like I do, I said, ‘Yes, just like Prince Gunther.’

  ‘Well,’ Prince Khalil said, looking at the trap. ‘That’s something to think about. Anyway, one down. About a hundred more to go.’

  I felt so grateful and happy that he’d come along out of nowhere and been so nice, I wanted to do something nice for him . . . only I couldn’t think what. Warning him about Luisa’s plan to make him her boyfriend at the wedding reception ball and dance with him in the moonlight and force him to give up his love of herpetology didn’t seem appropriate.

  Maybe he wants to be Luisa’s boyfriend. I don’t know.

  So instead I just said, ‘Well, I’ll let you get to work, then. Thanks a lot. If you or any of your friends from the herpetology society want to come inside for an orange juice or something, find me and let me know!’

  ‘OK.’ He smiled. How come I never noticed before what a nice smile he has? ‘Thanks. See you later.’

  ‘See you later.’

  Somehow as I was backing away from the orange tree I managed not to trip over any roots or anything. I don’t know how.

  Reading this over, I know it seems as if I like Prince Khalil, but I swear I don’t! He’s very nice and everything, but I have enough problems without crushing on a prince, especially a prince who happens to be my cousin Luisa’s crush.

  But let’s just say if I were going to have a crush on a prince, it would probably be on Prince Khalil. He has very good manners and nice eyes and he’s kind to iguanas.

  But I don’t. At all.

  Thursday 18 June 8.30 a.m.

  Royal Genovian Bedroom

  When I woke up this morning, I looked out into the garden and every cage had an iguana inside! Well, almost every one. It looks like Carlos has ‘evaded capture’ (as Rocky likes to say, when he forces me to play Astronaut Versus the Velociraptor with him).

  I can’t wait to tell Prince Khalil!!!!!

  Not about Carlos. About the other iguanas.

  Of course, Prince Khalil didn’t give me his mobile number, so I have to wait until I get to school.

  But this is very exciting!

  Although I can’t say that I ever expected I’d be excited to tell a boy – much less a prince – about a bunch of captured lizards in my yard.

  No one else has noticed the cages except Rocky and Grandmère, because everyone else in my family is still asleep. Even more of Mia’s friends (and Michael’s entire family) arrived yesterday. I could hear them laughing and singing all night long, practically, after I went to bed. When I peeked out of my window, I saw my sister and Michael doing this:

  Weddings sure do make people happy, considering all the trouble everyone has to go to in order to have one.

  Only Grandmère and Rocky were sitting at the breakfast table when I came down. She lowered her newspaper and asked, ‘What in heaven’s name is going on out there in the garden, Olivia? It looks like something out of a science-fiction movie, and not one I’d care to see.’

  ‘I’d care to see it,’ Rocky said.

  ‘Those are live traps for the iguanas, Grandmère,’ I said. ‘Prince Khalil is a member of the Genovian Herpetology Rescue Society.’

  I explained how Prince Khalil and his friends had set up the traps and planned to move the iguanas to the Genovian golf course.

  ‘Pfuit,’ she said. ‘That should certainly be a surprise to the golfers. Well, be sure to thank Prince Khalil for me. Or perhaps when I see him, I’ll give him a nice tip. Do you think ten euros would be enough? I suppose I should make it twenty. Or should I tip a euro per cage?’

  ‘Oh no, Grandmère,’ I said. ‘The service is free. Conserving reptiles and amphibians and educating the public about them is all the thanks the society needs.’

  Grandmère raised her eyebrows. But since they weren’t painted on yet, you could barely tell.

  ‘Not very enterprising of them . . . but then, I suppose the prince takes after his grandfather. Extremely intellectual, but terrible with money. That’s how they failed to hang on to their fortune, you know.’

  ‘I think Prince Khalil sounds cool,’ Rocky said. ‘I want to join the Genovian Herpetology Rescue Society.’

  Grandmère turned back to her newspaper. ‘Why am I not surprised?’

  Thursday 18 June 9.30 a.m.

  Royal Limousine

  Got the biggest jolt when I walked into class today:

  Prince Gunther wasn’t wearing kneesocks or shower shoes!!!

  He was wearing long trousers, proper shoes, and his uniform tie, and his shirt was nicely ironed and tucked in, the sleeves rolled down so he wasn’t showing off his ‘guns’.

  He actually looked . . . well, less horrible.

  All the girls were buzzing about his transformation, even my cousin Luisa.

  ‘This is because of you!’ she ran over to whisper to me. For once, she didn’t look angry. She looked excited. ‘Gunther gave himself a makeover because you told him to!’

  ‘Me?’ I was confused. ‘I never told him to—’

  Then I remembered guiltily that I had. Sort of.

  ‘Wait,’ I said. ‘I never told him to get a makeover. All I told him to do was to stop flinging bogeys and making fart noises. And flexing.’

  ‘See!’ Luisa looked triumphant. ‘It is because of you!’ She turned to Victorine and Marguerite. ‘I told you. A man will do anything for the woman he loves!’

  I felt a little sick. I hadn’t meant for Gunther to stop wearing his shower shoes. Although I had to admit he looked – and smelt – a lot better. Those shower shoes were pretty old.

  ‘I wish a boy would do something like that for me,’ Victorine said with a sigh.

  Marguerite agreed. ‘I know, right? He’s almost as cute as Prince Khalil!’

  I expected Luisa to say something like ‘How dare you!’ or ‘No one could be as cute as my darling Khalil!’

  But she didn’t. She was staring at Prince Gunther and his makeover as moony-eyed as all the other girls!

  I couldn’t believe it.

  Not that Prince Khalil even noticed, because he was busy reading yet another book about reptiles and amphibians. He barely looked up when I crept away from the other girls to tell him that the cages he and his friends had left were full this morning.

  ‘Oh, cool,’ he said. ‘Some of the society members will be over to transport the iguanas to the golf course. Then they’ll set the cages back up and see how many more we can catch.’

  ‘Great!’ I said. ‘Thanks again for doing that.’

  ‘I’m glad I could help.’ He smiled, and even though I don’t like him as anything but a friend, I have to admit I can see why Luisa likes him so much.

  I was turning around to go back to my desk when the worst thing happened.

  Prince Gunther came leaping forward, bowed, and held my chair out for me (the way gentlemen sometimes do for ladies, except NOT IN CLASS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE).

  Then he said, ‘Good morning, Your Royal Highness.’

  AGGGHHHH.

  But all the girls in class loved it. They giggled and clapped, even Princess Komiko. Even Luisa.

  ‘Uh,’ I said. ‘Good morning, Prince Gunther.’

  I pretty much wanted to die on the spot. Although Grandmère told me it is humanly impossible to die of embarrassment. Unfortunately.

  ‘I hope you are having a lovely day,’ Gunther said.

  ‘I am,’ I said. ‘I hope you are, too.’

  ‘I am,’ he said.

  ‘Great,’ I said. He was leaning right over me! He wouldn’t leave!

  ‘Great,’ he said. ‘Do you notice anything different about me?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘You aren’t wearing shower shoes.’

  �
��Yes,’ he said. ‘I did it for you.’

  ‘Wow,’ I said. ‘That’s nice. I think you should go sit down now. Monsieur Montclair is going to be here in a minute.’

  ‘All right,’ Prince Gunther said, and smiled really big. ‘I’m very happy to see you this morning.’

  ‘Great,’ I said. ‘But we’re still just friends, remember?’

  ‘Yes,’ he said, still smiling. ‘That’s what you told me yesterday. I haven’t forgotten. But you’re my first friend at this school! No one else has ever been so nice to me. Last night on the telephone I told my parents about you, and they want to invite you to come to Stockerdörfl to visit us this summer.’

  ‘Wow,’ I said. ‘That’s great. We’ll see.’

  Grandmère says when you don’t want to do something, just say, Great. We’ll see! because that way you’re not really saying yes or no. You’re saying, Actually, my schedule is quite busy and I have to check with my royal secretary. But I’ll get back to you quite soon.

  ‘You will really enjoy Stockerdörfl,’ Gunther went on. ‘We are known for our excellent skiing.’

  Luisa overheard all this and started to laugh. ‘I bet Olivia’s been skiing lots of times.’

  She is such a pill.

  ‘I haven’t, actually,’ I said. ‘But I would love to learn.’

  No. Not really. I only have time for one hobby, and that’s drawing. I just said that because Luisa was being so annoying.

  But it was the wrong thing to say, because it made Prince Gunther look excited.

  ‘Really?’ he asked. ‘I could teach you to ski! I am as good at skiing as I am at swimming!’

  Oh no.

  Then, thank GOODNESS, the door to the classroom opened.

  But instead of Monsieur Montclair walking in, it was my bodyguard, Serena.

  At first I thought she was there to tell Prince Gunther to please back away slowly from me, because that’s what bodyguards are trained to do.