Notebooks of a Middle-School Princess Bridesmaid-in-Training Page 12

  Now Francesca has left to go and see when they’re going to be ready for us to come down, and Nishi is coming up with plans to get revenge on Luisa (because of course I told Nishi what Luisa did, even though Grandmère said not to. But Nishi won’t tell Mia).

  Nishi and Olivia’s Plans to Get Revenge on Luisa Ferrari

  Nishi Plan #1:

  Trip Luisa in front of television cameras so her skirt falls over her head and her underwear shows in front of worldwide audience.

  Olivia’s note:

  No. Luisa would like this as she craves attention. Also, it might ruin Mia’s wedding and I promised Grandmère I wouldn’t let anything happen to ruin Mia’s day.

  Nishi Plan #2:

  Trip Luisa in front of wedding carriage. Luisa gets run over.

  Olivia’s note:

  Luisa might be seriously hurt from this and we could go to jail. Jail is not very princessy. Also, remember my promise to Grandmère.

  Nishi Plan #3:

  Get Luisa alone. Get her to confess what she did.

  Record confession on mobile. Upload video to Internet so everyone sees it.

  Olivia’s note:

  Better! But I still think this might give Luisa the attention she wants. She could become an international Internet sensation, and then write a bestselling book about it.

  Nishi Plan #4:

  Buy poison. Poison her.

  Olivia’s note:

  Like I said, jail is not very princessy. Also, where do we buy poison? And having one of the junior bridesmaids die of poisoning would COMPLETELY ruin Mia’s wedding.

  Nishi Plan #5:

  Get some of Chrissy’s horse poo. Put poo in wedding cake. Give cake to Luisa.

  Olivia’s note:

  Won’t Luisa smell the horse poo? Also, I don’t want to touch horse poo. That’s gross! Also, I’m pretty sure she get could really sick from this, and then we’d have to go to jail. Plus maybe then all the other wedding guests will think there is poo in the wedding cake, and this will ruin the wedding.

  Nishi Plan #6:

  Ask Boris P to call Luisa up to the stage and dedicate a song just to her. While she is onstage staring up at him, all googly-eyed, have him change the song so it is about how horrible she is.

  Olivia’s note:

  But this might make Luisa feel so bad, it will ruin her self-esteem, and then she will never develop character or common sense. Royals are supposed to guide those less fortunate, not destroy them.

  Nishi Plan #6, continued:

  Call Prince Khalil to come over and see Boris P singing the song about how horrible Luisa is. Then he will know the truth about her, and then Prince Khalil will like you and not Luisa!

  This is when I had to tell Nishi that I didn’t want to play this game any more. It wasn’t fun and also seemed mean. Also, that I don’t like Prince Khalil.

  But Nishi wouldn’t listen! She had the nerve to say, ‘I think you do like Prince Khalil, and I think he likes you back. I think Luisa knows that, and that’s why she wrecked your sister’s cake.’

  My heart started beating kind of quickly when she said that. I don’t know why. I said, ‘Nishi, no. That’s not true.’

  ‘It is true. Anyone can see it. Even Rocky. Here, I’ll go get Rocky and ask him.’

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘Why would you get Rocky? He’s just a little boy who doesn’t know anything. Leave him out of this.’

  But Nishi said, ‘I’m getting him anyway. I’m going to ask him about the poo.’

  ‘Nishi, no!’ I said. ‘I thought you were joking about the poo! Let’s just drop it. Be serious now. The wedding is going to start soon. We need to—’

  But she left before I could stop her. She flounced right out of my room (it’s hard not to flounce in these dresses; they have so many petticoats) and down the hall.

  What choice did I have? I had to follow her. I didn’t want her busting in on Rocky and telling him about the poo (especially seeing as how it was so stupid. Although knowing Rocky, he might take it seriously) and getting him all riled up before the wedding.

  That’s how I know the truth now – the truth about Rocky. It’s all Nishi’s fault.

  It wasn’t Luisa who stole the top layer of Mia’s wedding cake.

  It wasn’t Snowball, either.

  It was Rocky.

  Saturday 20 June 10.05 a.m.

  Rocky’s Room Wedding Day

  ‘I don’t know what made me do it!’ That’s what Rocky keeps saying. ‘I saw it there, and it just looked so delicious!’

  I bet it was delicious. My sister and Michael have good taste. And the cake they picked out – chocolate cake with vanilla frosting – is the best kind.

  Chocolate cake with vanilla frosting is all over the inside of Rocky’s rocket ship to the moon. Also, little white Genovian frosting roses and tiny sparkly frosting snowflakes, which had decorated the top of Mia and Michael’s cake.

  At least until someone stole it.

  Someone who was not my dog, Snowball, or my cousin Luisa Ferrari.

  ‘Oh, Rocky,’ I said, looking at the mess inside his cardboard rocket ship. ‘How could you?’

  ‘I don’t know. I went down to the kitchen for a midnight snack and no one was there and I saw it and I thought – well, the cake was so big! I didn’t think anyone would notice one little layer. Especially the top. It was so little.’

  ‘The top’s the most important part!’ I cried. ‘That’s where they put the most decorations!’

  ‘They take the top off and save it to eat a year later, for good luck,’ Nishi said.

  ‘Well,’ he said, shrugging, ‘I saved them the trouble by eating it.’ Then he looked sad. ‘But I guess it wasn’t very good luck for me. Are . . . are you going to tell?’

  ‘Everyone thinks it was Olivia’s dog!’ Nishi cried. ‘Well, except for us. We thought it was Luisa Ferrari. We came in here to ask you to throw some of Chrissy’s poo at her.’

  Rocky brightened. ‘I still will, if you want me to.’

  ‘NO!’ I didn’t know what to do. I was mad, but more at myself than at Rocky. I couldn’t believe I’d been so quick to blame a girl – my cousin, a fellow classmate, who may not be the nicest person, but is technically only a little insecure – for something a nine-year-old boy had done. ‘And no, we’re not going to tell on you.’

  He looked relieved. ‘Phew! Thanks. I owe you one, Liv.’

  ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘You do. And we’re going to have to throw out your rocket ship now, you know, Rocky. We can’t leave it like this; the cardboard is too messy. It will grow mould, and mice might get into it.’ People don’t know this, but even thousand-year-old palaces get mice. Maybe even more than other, newer palaces.

  Rocky sighed. ‘That’s all right. I think . . . I think I might be ready to give up my rocket ship.’

  I looked at him in astonishment. ‘You are?’ I asked. ‘Since when?’

  ‘Since yesterday,’ he said. ‘I don’t want to go to the moon any more to visit the dinosaurs. I want to stay here in Genovia and study reptiles. And amphibians.’

  Nishi started laughing. ‘You and everybody else around here!’

  I glared at her. I didn’t see what was so funny. ‘I think the study of reptiles and amphibians is very noble.’

  ‘Ha,’ Nishi laughed. ‘You would!’

  I still didn’t see what was so funny, but I didn’t get a chance to ask, because just then the door to Rocky’s room opened, and Francesca peeked in. ‘Oh, there you are, Your Highness,’ she said. ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you. It’s time.’

  !!!!!

  Saturday 20 June Noon

  Royal Throne Room Wedding Day

  It’s happening. It’s finally happening!

  My sister looks beautiful. Her dress is perfect. When she came down the stairs, the light from the windows caught the tiny crystals sewn on to the bodice and the entwined letter Ms on the skirt of her gown – M for Mia, and M for Michael – and blazed like diamonds! S
he’s always looked like a princess to me, but at that moment, she looked like a QUEEN.

  Even my dad and Grandmère were stunned into silence for a moment as they watched her come down the stairs, and I noticed that Mia’s mom was crying. Everyone was crying a little, I think, even the majordomo and Chef Bernard, who snuck upstairs from the kitchen to catch a glimpse of the bride as she made her way to the throne room.

  But they were crying in a happy way.

  ‘Well?’ Mia said when she got to the bottom of the staircase. ‘Isn’t someone going to say something?’

  ‘You look hot, P.O.G.,’ said Michael’s sister, Lilly, breaking the silence.

  P.O.G. stands for Princess of Genovia. Everyone laughed except Michael, who wasn’t there because he wasn’t allowed to see the bride until she walked down the aisle. He and the groomsmen were already in the throne room with the prime minister.

  It was right then that Rocky did something terrible . . . or wonderful, depending. He stepped up to his sister, his hand on his sword hilt (some not-very-intelligent person had decided it would be a good idea for Rocky to wear a tiny formal Genovian military uniform to the wedding, so he could match his soon-to-be adoptive dad), and said, ‘Mia, I’m the one who stole the top of your cake.’

  Mia looked down at him, her tiara sparkling wildly, and said, ‘Excuse me?’

  ‘I did it,’ Rocky said. ‘It was me. I’m sorry. I ate it. Don’t worry, though, everyone is going to love it. It tasted delici—’

  ‘Ooooh-kay,’ Dad said, lifting Rocky high into the air and handing him over to Lars, Mia’s bodyguard. ‘We’ll discuss that among ourselves at a later date, young man. For now I think you’d better be going, or you’ll be late. Don’t want to keep the crowd waiting.’

  It was true! You could hear not only all the people screaming outside, but the music playing inside.

  It was only RIGHT THEN that Mia noticed what Nishi and I and the rest of the bridesmaids and junior bridesmaids were wearing.

  ‘Oh,’ she said, appearing a bit startled. ‘You’re all in . . .’

  ‘Purple!’ I cried, twirling around in my dress, which, by the way, did not have any paw prints on it. ‘Surprise! Grandmère did it! Well, Grandmère and I did it, together. I know you wanted cream-coloured dresses for your bridesmaids, but Grandmère and I thought you’d like this better, because purple is the colour of royalty, and for a wedding, it’s different . . . like you!’

  ‘Yeah,’ Lilly muttered, looking down at her purple skirt. ‘It’s different, all right. Who cares if we look like aubergines?’

  ‘Speak for yourself,’ Perin said. She’s the one bridesmaid who doesn’t like to wear dresses, and Mia wanted all of her friends to feel comfortable, so Sebastiano made her a morning suit, like the groomsmen’s, but with a purple tie. She looked very dashing in it.

  ‘I love my dress,’ Tina said fiercely. ‘Purple is one of my favourite colours.’

  ‘Mine, too,’ Marguerite and Victorine chimed in.

  ‘I look good in everything,’ Luisa said. ‘So I don’t care.’

  ‘Everyone looks good in purple,’ Shameeka said. And Shameeka would know, since she works in fashion. ‘Especially on a red carpet.’

  ‘I think you all look amazing.’ Mia’s mom, who was wearing a dress that was a slightly different shade of purple than mine and Grandmère’s, looked pretty amazing herself. ‘But what matters is what Mia thinks. Mia, are you all right with it?’

  We all looked anxiously at Mia.

  ‘I . . .’ Mia said, the corners of her mouth trembling. I couldn’t tell if she was happy or sad. ‘I . . .’

  Oh no! She hated it! Grandmère had been wrong, and the wedding was ruined! Only not because of a mistake – that my dog got muddy paw prints all over my dress, or that Rocky had eaten the top of the wedding cake – but because of something I’d done on purpose (well, mostly Grandmère had done it, but I hadn’t told her not to).

  I felt terrible.

  Then something amazing happened:

  My sister burst out laughing! The same way she’d laughed at the RGA, after we’d finished performing ‘All Roads Lead to Genovia’. It was almost like she was crying, she was laughing so hard. In fact, I was a little bit worried she was going to fall down, she was laughing so hard.

  ‘Oh no,’ I heard Ling Su whisper. ‘The stress has finally got to her. She’s cracking up.’

  But then after a few seconds, Mia caught her breath, and, wiping tears from her eyes, said, ‘No, no, I’m fine. Really. The purple is great. I love it. You’re right, Olivia. Purple is the colour of royalty.’

  Relief flooded through me – more even than when I’d woken up from my nightmare about Snowball and the paw prints and realized it had all been just a dream.

  ‘You see?’ Grandmère leaned down to whisper to me, smiling in triumph. ‘I told you. We saved this wedding.’

  It was true! Grandmère’s plan (whatever it was) worked!

  Then my sister took each of her parents by the arm (after Paolo hurried over and redid her eyeliner, because it had become smeared when she cried), and turned towards the wide doors to the throne room. The music had grown louder. Soon, I knew, it would be our cue.

  That’s when I got nervous. It wasn’t over yet! There was still a chance I could ruin everything. After all, Nishi and I still had a very important job to do. Mia’s veil of handmade lace was impossibly delicate. If the weight of one very elderly cat could tear it, who knew what else could go wrong?

  Plus, when I bent to lift it, I happened to notice Luisa standing nearby with Marguerite and Victorine. They looked as much like naiads as Nishi and me. Except that they didn’t have tiaras, and I did.

  Maybe it was the fact that Grandmère and I had just made Mia cry with laughter right before her marriage to Michael. Maybe it was the music, or how beautiful my sister looked, or the sunlight, or all the sparkles. But suddenly, I was filled with love for everyone.

  Even Luisa Ferrari.

  ‘Luisa,’ I said to her, overcome with emotion. ‘We’re cousins. But what I really want to be is friends. Let’s not fight, OK? At least not today.’

  Luisa smirked and rolled her eyes. ‘Kee-yow, Olivia. Whatever you say.’

  This wasn’t exactly the reaction I’d been hoping for. But considering it was Luisa, it was enough.

  And then we were standing outside the throne room, and I could hear all the people screaming outside the palace, and all the music inside, and knew:

  This was it. It was the Big Moment.

  ‘Everything’s going to be all right,’ Vivianne said, shoving flower baskets into Luisa’s, Victorine’s and Marguerite’s hands. ‘Remember, take it slow. There’s no rush. We have all the time in the world.’

  ‘We don’t, actually,’ Grandmère said. ‘The television studio said to try to get it over with by the next commercial break.’

  ‘Princess Clarisse,’ Vivianne said, ‘don’t you need to take your seat? Now?’

  Grandmère tossed her head, pulled Rommel close on his crystal leash, and disappeared.

  Paolo walked over and pressed a tissue to Luisa’s lips. ‘What did I say to you yesterday about this? Less is more. Did I say this?’

  Luisa tossed her own head. ‘I don’t remember.’

  ‘I do. I remember.’ Paolo looked at Mia. ‘You look like an angel who fell down from heaven to be with us.’

  She smiled. ‘Don’t exaggerate, Paolo.’

  ‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘This is what you say when someone pays you a compliment, Your Highness. Thank you. Why can you never say thank you? So many years and still no thank you.’ To Dad, he said, ‘Too much bronzer. Someone fix the prince. Is this too much to ask?’

  ‘Annnd,’ Vivianne said, tapping her headset. ‘Bridesmaids, take positions.’

  I lifted Mia’s train and was surprised by how much heavier the delicate handmade lace felt than the tablecloth she’d worn around her waist in yesterday’s rehearsal. It had to weigh a ton!

&
nbsp; I shot Nishi my ‘OMG!’ look but felt an even bigger shock when I saw her face. She looked as if she was about to throw up.

  ‘Nishi,’ I whispered urgently. ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘I don’t think so,’ she whispered back. ‘I’m so nervous. I . . . I don’t know if I can do this.’

  Uh-oh.

  The truth was, I didn’t know if I could do it, either.

  But what choice did we have? We had to do it! For the people of Genovia, but more importantly, for my sister.

  ‘Nishi. Of course you can! This is what you’ve always dreamed of!’

  ‘Not this,’ she whispered. ‘I mean, yes, this, but I didn’t think it would be like this.’

  ‘Like what?’ I looked around. ‘This is EXACTLY what it’s like. We’re in beautiful dresses about to walk down the aisle of a throne room, and everyone is looking at us.’

  ‘I know!’ she cried. ‘I don’t think I can take the pressure.’

  ‘All we have to do is hold the back of her dress,’ I said, nodding at my sister. ‘How do you think SHE feels? She’s the one getting married. All we have to do is help by not messing up.’

  It was surprising how hard this was.

  Beyond the throne room doors, I could hear the music swelling. Rocky was probably well on his way down the aisle with the rings.

  ‘Are you ready?’ I heard Dad murmur in front of us, but to Mia, not to us.

  ‘Are you?’ she replied, and squeezed his arm, smiling. ‘Remember, you two aren’t losing a daughter. You’re gaining another member of the family business.’

  This was a little joke. The family business is the Royal House of Renaldo. When Michael marries Mia, he has to take her last name. That’s what royal consorts do.

  ‘I think he’ll make a fine addition,’ Dad said, smiling back at her.

  ‘I do, too,’ Helen Thermopolis said.

  ‘Look, if Rocky can do it,’ I said to Nishi, ‘we can. He’s only nine.’